Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Dick very happy bro
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
