I just made out with a guy for $7.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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