We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
