I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
