I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize