why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
you never un-have a 4some
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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