No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
