I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
