My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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