OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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