Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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