I have demons in me.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
