At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
