The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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