Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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