my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
