youre lurking in front of me
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
