Hey man sorry I got all grabby
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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