I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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