I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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