I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He did a backflip because drugs
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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