Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
