I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
