Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So apparently I’m into choking now
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