I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
