I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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