well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
