we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Randomize
