Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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