Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
