Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
