sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize
