how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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