Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with

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  (240): A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with http://tfl.nu/1e7c
  Replies (2) Good night (1703) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza

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  (703): Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza http://tfl.nu/9pba
  Replies (7) Good night (3098) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"

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  (702): i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower" http://tfl.nu/j2hm
  Replies (8) Good night (681) Bad night (3314)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.

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  (858): She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause. http://tfl.nu/nsj4
  Replies (38) Good night (5723) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.

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  (330): I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical. http://tfl.nu/0rx8
  Replies (16) Good night (6709) Bad night (792)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.

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  (573): I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator. http://tfl.nu/5d16
  Replies (31) Good night (1187) Bad night (3882)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!

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  (251): The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?! http://tfl.nu/t0yf
  Replies (9) Good night (1487) Bad night (3095)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  then she stuck her tongue in my ass

  (1-515): View more from Iowa

  I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?

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  (515): then she stuck her tongue in my ass (1-515): I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her? http://tfl.nu/wzc5
  Replies (18) Good night (3807) Bad night (2156)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.

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  (732): people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself. http://tfl.nu/7r6x
  Replies (11) Good night (1352) Bad night (2898)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!

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  (402): Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?! http://tfl.nu/bwn3
  Replies (4) Good night (2935) Bad night (1079)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water

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  (305): Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water http://tfl.nu/p9in
  Replies (6) Good night (2665) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.

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  (949): Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices. http://tfl.nu/flw8
  Replies (6) Good night (3304) Bad night (1356)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator

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  (505): I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator http://tfl.nu/t25w
  Replies (12) Good night (879) Bad night (2531)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.

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  (919): dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night. http://tfl.nu/52we
  Replies (4) Good night (1156) Bad night (2059)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.

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  (951): She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer. http://tfl.nu/6dwb
  Replies (11) Good night (2156) Bad night (829)

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