Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.

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(702): I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal. http://tfl.nu/8mte

Replies (3) Good night (851) Bad night (3627)
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(972): View more from Texas

So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.

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(972): So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office. http://tfl.nu/rm9r

Replies (45) Good night (1584) Bad night (5934)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.

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(603): Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever. http://tfl.nu/1r4h

Replies (21) Good night (4943) Bad night (1121)
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(650): View more from California

i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.

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(650): i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating. http://tfl.nu/do4w

Replies (4) Good night (3448) Bad night (1003)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.

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(901): There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/rmal

Replies (2) Good night (3196) Bad night (1099)
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(706): View more from Georgia

Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note

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(706): Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note http://tfl.nu/2uyq

Replies (5) Good night (4398) Bad night (990)
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(714): View more from California

It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.

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(714): It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you. http://tfl.nu/6jll

Replies (11) Good night (2043) Bad night (712)
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(518): View more from New York

I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?

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(518): I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine? http://tfl.nu/b7b9

Replies (4) Good night (1194) Bad night (581)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

what about money

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

no - he has a code he lives by

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(610): they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n (484): what about money (610): no - he has a code he lives by http://tfl.nu/tp7q

Replies (11) Good night (2601) Bad night (749)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.

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(202): Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay. http://tfl.nu/iy0k

Replies (10) Good night (697) Bad night (2056)
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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM

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(787): Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM http://tfl.nu/4phi

Replies (17) Good night (1612) Bad night (565)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.

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(318): Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun. http://tfl.nu/0u88

Replies (7) Good night (618) Bad night (1391)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?

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(320): How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash? http://tfl.nu/c8co

Replies (13) Good night (777) Bad night (366)
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(937): View more from Ohio

It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.

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(937): It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick. http://tfl.nu/017k

Replies (3) Good night (581) Bad night (528)
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(714): View more from California

Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.

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(714): Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question. http://tfl.nu/s97g

Replies (3) Good night (674) Bad night (236)

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