but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize