i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i only shaved half my leg
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds