I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
