Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
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I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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