And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
