would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
