How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
