Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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