what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
