i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
