So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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