i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
