Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
