...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
