i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
