I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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