Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i think i have two assholes
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
