we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
