never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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