So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
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