She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
