Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
