Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
