Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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