butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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