so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
