The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize