Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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