No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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