I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
