we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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