That's intense
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She told me I should be a condom model.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
