You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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