I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
