My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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