ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
