There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
