I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
